Yesterday I really really felt it. I felt it in my bones…I am tired of this. We made it through Easter Sunday and still we are in quarantine. I could look forward to a special day with food and online worship. I felt as though I was moving toward something with Easter Sunday. Once Easter Sunday passed I have been donzo with all of this. I want to hug my friends. I want to have plans passed Zoom calls and reading my books. I have plenty to do and yet I get tired of wandering around our flat making structure out of the day looking like the next.
I want to make travel plans but we really can’t. We just don’t know.
I am supposed to be headed to the US on May 20th and am antsy to make a decision about what to do but I must wait …we just don’t know.
Each day starts to look like the next and we can add as much structure as we can and still it bleeds into the next these days.
Don’t get me wrong…I am doing healthy things and I am not super cynical most of the time. Just this morning, I woke up and it looked like yesterday as far as how I am structuring and what I am doing and where I go.
And I figured…if you are reading, you are probably along these lines too. And I am ready to be done. I know we have some weeks left and thank God my school starts online next week but until then we have this week to contend with without the promise of Easter on Sunday. We will walk and I will write. I will find things to expand myself and I will workout and meditate. I will zoom people and send Marco Polos and rejoice when I get one back. I will wave to friends from the balcony and take care of the pups. We will get through this together.
But today….I want. it. to. be. done already.