This week has been a rough one for me. As I have said in earlier this week posts, I feel like this week was a point for me in which I started lamenting the monotony and when the plane tickets were cancelled for going home, I had a breaking point. Big crocodile tears happened multiple times this week and a great feeling of loss hit. I know that so many other people are feeling the loss even greater than me but we are no longer in competition I hope but acknowledging our communal grief….loss of plans, people, ideas, knowing what is to come….we all are experiencing all sorts of loss. I also know that ups and downs will happen during this whole process. So in response to feeling loss, I started taking in what small delights were happening throughout the week. I am relying on these small delights to get me from moment to moment, day to day, week to week and trying to enjoy all I can. To balance the feelings of monotony and loss I give you a list of small delights from the week….
-Sitting on the balcony talking deeply while sipping rose last night with my amazing and supportive partner
-A cookie given to me by the shop owner and dear friend around the corner at one of my favorite cafes that I try to frequent because I want it to survive
-Daily long pup walks in the sun
-Blooming all around me
-Signing up for classes to begin next week
-Sending a video of playing the guitar to nieces and nephews and receiving videos back
– Making and eating good food
-Reconnecting with friends via text, zoom, facetime
-Watching my little starts grow on the balcony, imagining the salads to come
– Belly laughing with Ana about small things
-Poetry that moves me and videos that give me tears of joy
-Watching a zoom wedding of a friend from the past and now I can watch her moments of love and joy and a mentor tear up as he performed his daughters wedding via zoom
-Links sent to me by friends for me to follow
-Dreaming of the Camino
– Good coffee and sunshine
We will get through this together. We can do hard things. We can build a list of small delights.