A Saturday in Easter/Pandemic/Berlin Spring

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I was in a funk yesterday. I can’t deny it. The monotony has really been getting to me this week even when I remember small delights and that this is passing and we are happy and healthy and we have our pups.  So yesterday morning I felt the funk rise even though I had had an amazing morning walk and catching up with a friend early in the day. It rose without a ton of warning besides my sinuses are acting up because of allergies I hope.  It hit like a wave as we started on a walk with our puppies and got stuck behind two sets of couples with strollers who didn’t seem to pay attention to anyone else around them so we were stuck behind them, distancing and dodging joggers until we could cross the street.   To be clear, everyone should get to be out and walking but these days we all need to be a little more aware of all around us.  I wasn’t mad at them…I was getting funky about the world.

When we did cross the street, I made a snarky comment and Ana’s hand went to the small of my back.

“You are in a mood today, huh?’ She asked me.

I teared up.  “yeah, I guess so. It gets to me. All of it and especially when in a pandemic people don’t care about what is happening around them…aware of others.” And then it was as if a wave unleashed and I was smack dab in the middle of all of the funky feelings.  The sun was out and I couldn’t shake it so I just needed to feel it. All of it.

If you know me, I am not a fan of negative feelings.  When I was younger I would quickly skip across the feels to get to the delight and the all is well.  If you are an Enneagram person I am directly in the 7 world.  Enthusiast all the way.  I have learned as I age and grow that I need to feel all the feels…to process and pay attention. Walking usually plays an essential role to this. So we walked while I process and cried a little and felt the anger in the world, my world. And then we rounded the corner to the blossoms.

Creation had made a canopy for us that reminded us of Spring. Regeneration is still happening. The world is still opening up even if we still feel big limits and stay inside to stay healthy and to keep others healthy.  The world is fully into Easter season with all of its processes and nuances.  We are standing directly under what is new and changing. Something will be birthed out of all of this the world seemed to whisper directly into my anger and frustrations and tears of funk.

The monotony is the monotony but things are still happening within and around us.  The pandemic is the pandemic and all in due time.  Spring is springing around us on a Saturday and it was just the thing to start to pull me out of the muck.

How is your weekend so far?

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