Today is Monday. Today we are still in the season of Christmas….4th day of Christmas? 3rd day of Christmas? This week holds the New Year arriving to us. This is the same week that we enter into lockdown week 9. For three of those weeks we have been in hard lockdown and even more so from Christmas Eve until now since even grocery stores and pharmacies and spatis were closed for a number of days for the holiday. All was quiet around our neighborhood and even the walks with the pups felt more still.
This week Ana is still on a break from work but I am back at doing some work here and there. My school is still on break but I am realizing I should get back to the homework before me. We are making it through these holidays that I never imagined being in Berlin for and we are still holding each other through it.
I continuously have to tell myself that everyone is having a different experience of this time and all experiences are valid and hard no matter what. I get jealous of those who can get out of their situations to go stay at the ocean or with the trees while we can’t leave the city because we would be considered tourists anywhere else. Airbnb isn’t allowed to rent anything out and hotels can’t be booked so here we stay. The only way would be to go someplace where we knew someone who would let us stay elsewhere. But we are two foreigners in a foreign land so we don’t really have that option. So here we must stay, looking for ways to carve out spaces for ourselves and retreat in our own space. I yearn for the days we can travel again, even if its just in the next state in Germany to stay in a cabin away from concrete.
Someday it will come again.
Lockdown life sometimes feels surreal, sometimes pretty oppressive, sometimes ok, and sometimes feels like hibernation. All good things to explore in ourselves. In the meantime I will continue to read and write, walk and chat, and give care where I can.
How are you doing? How was your Christmas day and how is your Christmas season going?