Yesterday morning I took the pups out at 7:30am. This is about the most proper median of when I take them out. Lately I have been waking up earlier and taking them out around 7 but if I can hit right when the sun is rising it feels sweeter. So at 7:30am yesterday morning, I was crossing the closest bridge over the canal to us and on one side there was this view…
And on the other side there was this view…
On one side the moon was still full in its glory and on the other side the sun was just rising. On one side it was still extremely dark with the water sparkling in moonlight and the streetlights taking center stage. On the other side you can barely still see the street lights on and the orange of a new day is much more prominent.
Here I was with my two pups, standing what felt like directly in the middle, in the liminal in between space. It felt like this for me yesterday morning. I was still waking up, still pre coffee and yet my eyes were open and the cold had hit me in the face. I was ready for the day but also still pretty sleepy and in my own world. I was comforted by the moonlight and the rising sun simultaneously.
I am feeling this a bit more in our life at the moment. We feel in between a great many things. Ana had to have a minor surgical procedure done on Monday so we had been heavily into isolation with the new variant causing havoc. On one hand we had become hermits in our cozy space, closing ourselves off from anyone who might have had contact with anyone else and at the same time we are both ready to not be in such isolation. We are tired of this variant causing us to go into hiding a bit. We are tired of having to close off.
On one hand I am still a tutor and student and on the other I have a new visa that tells me I don’t have to hold onto those limitations anymore and yet it depends on getting a new job to break out of that mold.
On one hand we are ready to make some big life decisions about where we want to be and how to move in the world and on the other hand there are so many variables that need to sort themselves out in order to get to where we think we want to be with our life.
On one hand I am feeling not as creative but I do feel as though the creativity is about to break out again and it feels very much in between projects and ideas.
All in the in between. I am writing this is as I wait for cinnamon rolls to rise that I have been crafting this morning as a welcome home breakfast for Ana. Deep into comfort food, healing happens where we can glean energy and where we feel more ourselves and at home. I am continuously waiting for the next rise.
I know that this is part of life in so many of our stages and right now it feels a little like the world is holding its breath for the next stage of whatever is to come. We are waiting for this wave to pass to see what the next new normal may be. I guess there is some comfort in knowing that so often liminality is where the holy and magical places are waiting for us to discover them like directly in between the moon and the sun.