We are technically not back in lockdown. This time last year we had been in lockdown for almost three months already and it would last a bit longer before loosening up. It was an experience that is hard to describe to the extent that it happened to others who didn’t experience it. While the entire world, had to be extra careful and a bit more cautious, in Germany we had to stay at our place and really there wasn’t anything else to do. Our flat is 52 square meters which for US folks that is around 550 square feet. We have one bedroom, a big open living room, a lovely kitchen and bathroom. That’s where we roam, the four of us.

So the lockdown last year was hard….really rough but we made it through. We took up a few hobbies, made our space more comfy and our balcony became a place that was necessary to grow things. We took the pups on long walks and hung out a lot together. We got creative in what we could do here.

This time around we are not in a lockdown by law but the numbers continue to spike at an alarming rate. When we were in legal lockdown the incidence rate was around 150 and today the incidence rate in our neighborhood and Berlin is over 1,000. Thats obscene. In talking with a neighbor, we recognized that we are all on high alert.

Ana and I have put ourselves in isolation essentially. Restaurants are way too risky even though to be in one here you have to be boosted. We haven’t really hung out with friends because if our friends have kids, by being in school, they are high risk and we all have been exposed one way or another so we figure we should maintain distance right now. We still take walks with the pups and are active as we can be. It doesn’t seem safe to go to museums or indoors anywhere. I have returned to having panic attacks if I get on public transit and even the grocery store seems slightly risky. It feels like we are back in lockdown in a major way and I have to admit its pretty triggering. Just two months ago we were talking about travel for this year…now it seems like a far off dream again. I haven’t booked tickets back home to Oregon although we are hoping I get to go home in May to be with family BUT it just seems too risky at the moment. How can we plan when the world looks like this right now?

So we are occupying ourselves here, in our little flat, with the pups all cuddly and trying to be patient. Trying to think through this wave of whatever this is…trying not to be too discouraged and anxious….

How are you holding up?