On the day before I am becoming a mom…

We have gone to our favorite restaurant to celebrate these last moments of just being two. We have prepped our space and acquired things even though at some point we will realize what we really need, what baby likes and doesn’t like, what we like and done like, and then we will realize what we forgot or didn’t get yet. Hard to tell right now. We have cleaned our apartment and set up pup care. Ana’s mother has arrived and I have enjoyed some of my fav food that she made for us. She will make more while we are in the hospital. We are collecting the documents to make sure we have everything and dotting our “i”s.

Tomorrow we are becoming moms.

I never really thought that this title would belong to me. It was a bit of a shock to know that this really was happening. I held a little bit of grief about the way I thought my life would be but it was all mixed in this mush of excitement about expanding our family. For many months the whirl of emotion was confusing and hard and some of that still exists but mostly I am truly excited to see how mom applies to me. We have said that I will be mom and Ana will be mama. I am anxious to see what he decides for us as well.

It is both weird and wonderful to know when we are going in to birth this baby. He has decided that he is sitting a certain way which means he will be birthed in this way…more planned than others and it comes with ups and downs but it makes me especially reflective in these moments. Knowing that he will be held in my arms tomorrow makes me both anxious and incredibly touched. I can’t wait to have access to him outside of Ana’s body and I know we already have a special bond.

And tomorrow at this time, it will all be so much more than I expected and dream like and exhausting and lovely and I will have a new title that will be what so many others have and yet totally unique to me and my experience.

We are ready for you little one. We will be so glad you are here and there is a world just for you ready to explore.

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