Yesterday morning, my son Tadej James Krivokapic McHill was born. He came out of his mama at 8:43 am via c section and into the arms of his mom right away. He weighed 8lbs 1oz or 3,666 gramms. He was 52 cm or 20.4 inches long. He cried some but not too much at first and calmed way down after I was holding him and talking to him.

We, together he and I, waited for his mama to join us after he was weighed and measured so we started to get to know each other. His eyes were searching my face to match the voice he has been hearing.

We named him Tadej. It is a Balkan name. Mostly Slovenian. Serbians know this name but it isn’t prominent but we love it. It means huge courageous heart. It is pronounced like taw-day although if you listen carefully the j adds a little extra hook at the end but day is close enough.

We gave him the middle name of James. It is a family name in my family which is a tradition for kids in my family to hold a family middle name but we also met on the way of St. James. We owe a lot to St. James it seems so we gave him part of that legacy.

We want him to have both last names. Legally, currently, he has to have Krivokapic as his last name because of German naming laws and the fact that we are a lesbian couple, we are married, but still. We will need to add my last name later. It is important to us.

To him, I am clearly his mom and he luckily has a mama too. To Germany, I am not technically a parent until I adopt him as a step child. Luckily the US sees me as a parent right away. It is a thorn but to him it doesn’t matter.

There are so many babies right now that we didn’t get a family room so I had to come home after 8pm and I can return at 10. I will be there the minute I can be. I hate that I missed the first night but love that he was held by his mama who birthed him all night and I am sure they cooed at each other. I can come in and give her rest and coo at him all day. These are my plans.

He was born on the Winter Solstice. He is definitely already bringing light into a dark world. On the shortest day and the longest night we welcomed a being closest to the beginning of creation. Holy and sacred has already been known to him.

My son’s name is Tadej and I can’t wait for our adventures. He is perfect and his is part of us. It is like he was always here.