This morning, I am sitting in our living room with the Christmas lights all on and a lamp on by my side at 9am as the world in Berlin is just waking up. I have been up for a couple of hours already.The dogs and I have had our morning walk. I have made dough that is rising to make lovely rolls for this morning when my wife wakes up so she has fresh yeasty rolls for the morning with her coffee. I have been home for just a couple of days since visiting Oregon for two weeks. I started my journey back to Berlin on Monday morning to arrive in Berlin on Tuesday around noon. Those days seem like a blur and the jet lag the past couple of days make for disorienting days back although it has been sweet to return to Ana and the pups.
I didn’t write much while I was away because my 14 days were packed with friends and family and making the most of every moment with them. I told Ana that I had adopted the unofficial mental goals of putting all of my people before anything else. It was way more important for me to have lingering conversations over coffee or just around homes rather than getting to stores I miss or even restaurants I miss. This has kind of always been my way of moving through the world anyway. I will always make time for people over things. And nieces and nephews win out above all of the people in that order. They are top priority so I chose to hang with my nieces rather than see the ocean this time because of scheduling and I wouldn’t trade that choice for anything.
The two weeks went by fast and didn’t leave a ton of room for reflection on the trip itself or coming home or anything in between. As always, those reflections will unfurl themselves in the coming todays. I immediately miss my family once I head back to this direction. Christmas was so much fun although I missed Ana and we have talked about how we don’t want to be apart for the holidays again. But I made it back just in time for today, the big holiday in Serbian culture, New Year’s Eve. Today we make a menu cultivated by Ana, I follow her lead in preparations and we stay up to enjoy the holiday together. We plan on sipping bubbles and eating good food and enjoying each other.
New Year’s Eve has the affect though of reflection on me before we get to the bubbles. We are on the brink of a new year. 2022 is coming in with promises and doubts and big things and small things. We are all yearning for this to be the year that the pandemic starts to take a backseat. We are all hoping that this is the year in a line of the past few that might offer up better times and more hopeful spaces. For us, in our house, we are hoping this is the year that takes us back to Oregon to live full time at some point, that this may be the year that we explore new places and figure out where and what our family wants to be. This is the year that we grow and learn and cultivate more of who we truly are. I have decided long ago that I put aside the resolutions of losing weight and reading more books although I love reading more books. But the things I want to reflect on are how do I want to move into the new year. What intentional ways can I be present to what is before me? How can I be more authentically me and better myself to add meaning to my world?
Do you have resolutions? Are you reflecting back and forward? What does it all look like for you on the brink of 2022?