Yesterday I found myself back in the pulpit for the first time in a long time. I had the great honor of baptizing a baby in September (another blog post for another day) but I haven’t preached since before my surgery. I was asked to preach on Sunday a week ago and I hesitantly said yes. I weighed the pros and cons and came out pro.
This was for a few reasons. Up until now, I didn’t know if I had the stamina to preach and lead a whole worship service yet. This is a HUGE energy suck as well as life giving and I have a high after. BUT I get so nervous before I preach that inevitably the night before is not a good sleep night and I do put a TON of work into my sermons. In order to preach the way I love to preach I have to be extremely prepared. The amount of hours I pour into a sermon can be quite a commitment and then the day of is energy upon energy. I felt as though I was ready for this. Plus I miss preaching. I won’t say this the day before preaching but ask me any other time and I will say that I miss my regular preaching schedule. I love dwelling in scripture when I preach. I love the craft of it and I love it even more when I have a regular community where I feel like we are building the experience together.
So I said yes even though I knew that a few friends were throwing us a little baby shower after in the afternoon. I knew I would have to slightly rush from the church to my home to go to the shower with Ana, together. But I said yes and ended up having a sweet time preaching.
Then in the afternoon we arrived to a little intimate baby shower where about 10 of our friends joined us to celebrate what is about to come. We laughed and shared stories and hopes. We got to open a few gifts and it was sweet. A Baby Shower is a very American thing so it was nice to just have a gathering where some baby stuff was given and we booked a space that means something special to us. Our friend Hana is closing Hom Cafe but rented the space to us and made us coffee and we got to be in this special place for yet again another special marker in our life. Hana made our wedding cakes and Hom felt like the first place in Berlin that welcomed me. It has become my second home in so many ways.
It was sweet to be there with a few of our people that we have really connected with here. It was a weird day in that a number of people had to cancel due to sickness (heeelllloooo fall) and some were out of town but I know this just means we will continue to celebrate as we wait for the little one to arrive.
All of this was sweet and marked major recovery for me as well. Each step of doing something I haven’t done since pre surgery and love, like preaching, brings me more fully to myself again but then by the end of the day I was WIPED OUT!
I slept hard last night and during our weekly Sunday night family zoom call I could tell I was super tired. I was barely sitting up. Even though recovery is happening step by step, landmark by landmark, my body is still healing. This morning as I slowly get up and move about I am reminded even more. I know that I jump into things due to my impatience but in a weird way I am thankful for my body reminding me that it still needs tending to and time to recover. I have to be patient with myself even if that is not my most favorite thing so I can be ready for when baby boy does appear. I want to be my best self then so I need to take it a bit slower today.
But I am thankful for the doozy of yesterday for sure! How was your Sunday?